Welcome Joe, there was a lot of great advice. I was much older when I faded with my husband following me. My take is, your wife deserves to be free. Read Steven Hassen's books so you know how to help her get out. You have a lot of great years ahead of you, I only wish someone had gotten through to me before I gave away 30 years of my life.
Aunt Fancy
JoinedPosts by Aunt Fancy
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80
My Experience and how I finally let myself see the truth
by OneEyedJoe infirst off - for those lurkers who feel guilty just for being on this site and reading this (even if you don't read any further, as it is your right to choose that course) i want you to know that you're not alone in what you're going through or in what you are feeling.
if you read on, i hope my experience may be of some small help to you.. this may be long, but i'll try to organize it in a way that doesn't make it painful to read.
to start, i feel it is most beneficial if i'm upfront and honest with my goals from posting this, which are (in order of the degree to which they motivated me):.
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Ladies - how often should you wash your hair??
by quellycatface ini've cut my hair washing from every 2 days to every 4 days and this week, i've left it 7 days.
it's been growing much better and is in great condition!
any tips for growing your hair lush and lovely?.
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Aunt Fancy
I use WEN and love it. I have fairly long and thick hair. About three years ago I was losing some hair and switched over to WEN and it changed my hair. I don't have to get it cut as often because it is much healthier now. I wash it every other day unless I am staying home and sometimes I put WEN lavender oil on and leave it in overnight. It takes some getting use to because it does not suds but feels like conditioner.
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What do you do when your job makes you wanna puke your face off?
by Julia Orwell ini'm talking like makes you physically sick and emotionally frazzled just thinking about it.
i'm talking like you hate it to the point you'd rather go without than work at it just for the money.
you'd live on cheap korean packet noodles for the next year instead of exchanging your labor for this job's money.. well, this is how i feel about teaching and tutoring.
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Aunt Fancy
Years ago I had a job that paid well but the owner was a real A hole and was terrible to work for and he had a terrible time keeping employees. I signed a 6 month contact and as soon as the 6 months were up I quit. I was a nervous wreck and I told myself I would never stay in a job that caused me so much stress and took my health from me even if the money is good.
i would try to promote your artwork more and see if you could make ends meet doing something you love. There is a book called "The Slight Edge" by Jeff Olson and it is excellent for helping you gain your self confidence back.
You are still young and it is easier to change your field of work now instead of waiting until you are older. Is there something you can do in your field that would be less stressful. Maybe you could get into something different with just a few credits. I would also consider talking to a career counselor to see what your options are with your current education.
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Any Suggestions on what to say if elders ask why you stopped going in FS?
by BU2B ini was curious what might be some good things to say if i am questioned by the elduurs about my decline in fs.
anything too honest may get me a jc (although that would be for the best in the end..) the co visit is this week so they may be getting more agressive than usual.
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Aunt Fancy
My husband and I just stopped going. We didn't answer the phone when they called for our hours and when they knock on our door we don't answer. We have told them nothing and we won't at this point. We are not going to give them any power over us and by not corresponding with them they have no idea what we feel.
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Your Experience with Resigning as an Elder
by committeechairman ini'm considering resigning as an elder.
i'm not planning to fade or stop as one of jehovah's witnesses, just stop serving as an elder.. i have responsibility in the congregation and in circuit, district, rbc, etc.
and i'm completely exhausted.
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Aunt Fancy
My husband was an elder for many years and he stepped down. He was very involved in the RBC and he had many responsibilities and was always the one the COBE went to and eventually it wore him down. I will never forget the night they announced he was no longer an elder because they should have said he was DF! It was awful the way we were treated at first. He was asked many times to become an elder again and they always said they needed him but he would never do it again. He did not like the things that went on behind closed doors and when he found out the real truth about the WTS then he understood why he felt that way.
Your health and family are more important than being a slave to the WTS. If you are feeling this way you should step down because losing your health is not worth it.
Our experience in this area is that there are very few new elders being appointed so the ones who are in the position now are overworked. Hang in there and do what is right for you and your family, just be prepared to be treated differently.
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My Update
by nolongerconfused inhello friends..... i have posted off and on for maybe a year and half?...
just to update you guys on where i am.
writing this makes me feel better.. i was baptized when i was 9 years old along with the rest of my immediate family.
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Aunt Fancy
It is not easy to move on and you were hit with two big life changes at one time. If you feel you really love your ex then before you consider getting back together I would seek marriage counceling so you are both helped. It can also help her to leave the JW's for good. There are plenty of women out there that don't have the baggage of being in a cult, you just aren't ready at this point because you still have feelings for your ex. When you are ready you will find the right person to spend your life with.
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Doctor affirms the fact that JW religion was a massive strain on my life
by confusedandalone init has been over a year since i offically stopped caring about and going to jw meetings.
prioor to this time i had tons of responsibility that drained every once of time i had.
like any father i had family matters to attend to.
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Aunt Fancy
I am glad your health has improved and you are enjoying life with your wife and children by your side. I too went through some serious health problems and I can relate most of it back to the WTS. My health improved like yours did and I have been able to get rid of some medicines. Living a health, happy and rewarding life is sweet!!
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Want to know why people accept evolution ?
by snare&racket indo you have questions about or want to understand evolution?
it is a difficult concept to communicate and so if it is not explained well , it is understandable that we would dismiss it.. i sincerely want to talk with people who want to learn more or see what all the fuss is about.
we are all learning and increasing our knowledge all the time and it is good to go over facts with critical eye.. evolution we can discuss, looking at the foundational facts and evidence, one at a time for you to go and check, agree or disagree with and return.. no pressure to accept it, you can decide for yourself, also no mocking etc of what you have to say.. .
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Aunt Fancy
Marked
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My Mom is in the hospital
by JeffT inmy mother broke her hip last week.
she had an emergency partial replacement surgery friday night.
we don't know how she did it as we have caregivers with her at all times, she may have fallen while in the bathroom for a few minutes.
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Aunt Fancy
Jeff, I am so sorry you are going through this. Your parents had such a wonderful and fulfilling life and I know it must be so painful to see her decline. The article brought tears to my eyes. You must be so proud of both of them and you are such a good son to her. Hang in there.
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Troubling experience at 1 day assembly re: little jw child
by williamhconley injust had my 1day assembly this weekend.
an experience given by the bethel speaker was quite troubling and shows how jw's live in constant paranoia, anxiety and they isolate themselves from normal living.. a first grade class was having a fire drill.
everyone ( except one) lined up and stood outside away fron the classroom in the grass.
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Aunt Fancy
We know it isn't a real story because every teacher has to make sure all students are out of the building. If anything this story shows how ignorant the WTS really is.